He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
