Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
