I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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