my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
