He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
