about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
