she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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