Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
