Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize