Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
