so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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