put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
