Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
