Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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