I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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