I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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