An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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