what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
