all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
