you guys were way drunker than both of me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
