did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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