That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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