why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
