Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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