Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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