my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
