i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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