Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
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