so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
