I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
