Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
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