so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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