I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
