Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
