I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Let's get the cat blown out
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
