He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
