so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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