you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize
