remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
