when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
