Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
