can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
