the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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