honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
