eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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