SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
