Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
