he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
