Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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