1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
