Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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