We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
