If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize