You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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