please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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