im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
