STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
