I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize